Moon Dog and Badger PART 1

Ladies, Gents and due to considerable demand. (Thank you to the 4 people who commented.) I now present the first part of this saga. Moon Dog and Badger!

There are moments in the annals of mankind’s history where magnificent things happen. Amongst us mere mortals and bears and birds, there are under a garb of secrecy superhuman beings, well not quite super because they’re below the food chain, and not really human because they’re animals. Nevertheless, let us continue with the utter gargantuan idiocy of this sad tragedy.

Moon Dog and Badger were quietly passing their time. Moon Dog was peeing on a tyre and contemplating the heavenly relief emptying his bowels in a small corner of a massive park that seems like it never ends. Badger was tiling his bathroom, and stopped abruptly. ‘Bugger’ he thought. ‘I should have used Vinyl.’ We’ll come back to the irritating reason of why that is so.

Did you know that Moon Dog was the first Dog ever to land on the moon with Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin. There was never any footage of him because Moon Dog was camera shy. He always hopped away in zero gravity whenever the Apollo craft tried to take a picture. He was chosen amongst a thousand and twenty three dogs. All trained to listen and obey commands. Moon Dog was a trampy shaggy looking Dog found on the streets in Chicago by dog lover Melissa Carthwright, an equally looking trampy and shaggy 38 year old. Whilst every other dog was doing a cheap dog show tricks like jumping and licking themselves. Moon Dog was doing judo chops on a comatose and dribbling Melissa, he liked Melissa, he just didn’t like her face. The judges of NASA were impressed. Moon Dogs high intellect of 7 paid off and watching Hong Kong Phooey. John ‘Randy’ Buddy a tall, strong specimen of physical evolution, who was chosen to land on the moon with Buzz Aldrin, went to reach for Moon Dog. Moon Dog did a flying kick to Johns face and killed him. Moon Dog didn’t like Johns face. He thought John looked like a rapist. Neil Armstrong was bought in as a replacement. Anyway, NASA heavily impressed with Moon Dog recruited him immediately. Moon Dog liked Neil Armstrong because he smelt of rectum. This is all true and can be verified by NASA themselves. If they’re willing to part with this information....

Care to read more? Please comment and I will post the next dazzling part next week.